Is Christmas a harmonious time in your household?

How much do you look forward to Christmas?  Is it a relaxing and exciting time of the year for you or do you dread the time of year with the prospect of spending a concentrated period of time with family, some of whom you may not see regularly and with whom you may not feel particularly close.  Are you worried about how all the family members will get on, especially if there are clashes of personality? Unfortunately tensions can run high for many and all too often things can get out of hand and arguments can ensue.  How can you do your bit to maintain the festive mood and engender tears of joy and laughter rather than tears of frustration?

This is where knowing and understanding the DISC personality profile model can come into its own.  How well do you know your own personality traits?  It’s been said that the art of effective communication starts with understanding yourself before you can understand others.  Here’s a brief insight of the DISC model and how you can use it to maintain great relationships over the Christmas period and beyond.

Firstly, are you outgoing or reserved?  Are you People or task focussed?  Once you have answered these two questions you can see where you fall within the model.  For those outgoing and task focussed, they will demonstrate the “D” style, for those outgoing and people focussed, their predominant style will be “I”.  For those reserved and people focussed, “S” would be the behavioural style and finally for those reserved and task focussed, the predominant style will be “C”.

The D and I styles are the easiest to spot as they are both outgoing, positive and enthusiastic.  They are likely to be the talkers amongst the group.  The D style especially likes being in charge and calling the shots.  They speak their mind, being direct and are not shy of conflict if they disagree with others.  They tend to be strong-willed and forceful and can come across to others as being blunt and impatient.  Luckily if you disagree with the D style, they won’t mind in the least if you say so, it’s like water off a duck’s back!

The I style is also talkative and enjoys regaling stories, enjoying the attention and limelight.  Being so social, they will want to make sure that everyone has a drink and that the festivities pass with everyone having fun.  They are the ones likely to be suggesting a game of charades and will be encouraging everyone to join in.  You can rely on the I style to keep the entertainment going so sit back and enjoy the show!  If you want to keep on side with the I style, pay them a compliment, you’ll have them eating out of your hand.

The S style is reserved and will be quietly getting on with preparations.  They are great listeners, patient and are people pleasers.  They can be self-sacrificing so will be last in line for Christmas dinner!  You can depend on the S style to clear the table and get the dishes washed as they are very supportive and will be striving for harmony.  Don’t take advantage of the S style though as once they have had enough they can become stubborn and passive aggressive.

The C style is reserved and task focussed, so they are thoughtful, cautious and can be perfectionists.  You will find them checking the table settings to make sure they are aligned and they will be wanting everything to be neat and perfect.  The C style likes nothing better than to be analytical, creative and accurate so if anyone receives presents that need assembling, give it to a C style, they will have it finished in no time!

Once you can identify the behavioural style of yourself and others, you can adapt your style to build rapport and improve communication.  Understanding the DISC style of others helps us to that we are all different and that each behavioural style likes to communicate and be communicated with in a preferred way.  By adjusting our style to match that of others can have a positive effect for building rapport, lasting relationships and keeping the peace at Christmas time!

Merry Christmas and all the very best for 2019.

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